When was the last time you talked to yourself like a good friend?
When you showed yourself the same understanding and kindness that you would normally show a friend who is in pain?
With the kind of turmoil that we are currently living in, it is normal to feel anxious about the future. It is normal to feel sad at one moment and hopeful the next. It is normal to despair because of the way things are in the world and anger at those who do not seem to care or seem to be indifferent at best. It is also normal to feel grateful at times to have a roof over your head and to be with your family and at the feel frustrated with the current circumstances.
These emotions were there earlier as well, but situations like these tend to bring them to the forefront. Given the kinds of conflicting emotions that you may be going through at various points in the day, it is fair to say there is a lot going on inside your mind. It can become quite exhausting to ride the roller coaster of these emotions every day.
So my question to you is this..
Are you taking this time to actually notice your discomfort and pain?
Are taking a step back at this time and noticing when you need to show yourself a bit of compassion?
Do you remind yourself in these challenging times, that you are suffering too just like other human beings all over the world?
You will often find that when you pause to check in with yourself without any kind of judgement, without trying to solve or fix anything, both acceptance of the situation and compassion for yourself comes much easier.
Self compassion is NOT self indulgence
What we often do not realise is that if we are not used to actively comforting and taking care of ourselves when we are in pain, it becomes difficult to truly care for another the way we would like to. Showing up in a way that is true to ourselves without burning out becomes very difficult if we do not take care of ourselves.
Self compassion is a gift that is available to anyone who is willing to look within themselves and pay attention
Caring for and being kind to yourself is certainly NOT the same as self indulgence.
Are you not worthy of the same love and care that you would show to someone else in pain or in need of some comfort?
No matter how difficult life gets, you can always find a way to soothe and comfort yourself just like you would your child who comes crying to you in pain. You do not have to wait till things get better, the situation settles down completely or your life becomes exactly what you want it to be.
You can start today, at this very moment…by treating yourself just as you would a friend.
Treat yourself like a friend
First, think about times when a close friend was feeling really bad and was hurting and struggling in some way. How did you talk to your friend in this situation? What words did you use to comfort him or her? What tone of voice did you use?
Now think of a time when you were struggling or feeling bad about yourself. If you are struggling and finding it difficult to cope in the current scenario, you can use that too. Notice what words you have been using in those times when you are struggling to cope with your emotions. Notice the tone in which you talk to yourself. Is there a difference? Why is it that you do not treat yourself the same way as you would a friend in a similar situation?
Lastly, take a few moments to think about how things might change if you changed the way you spoke to yourself? If you showed yourself the same compassion that you showed others….
“If your compassion does not include yourself it is incomplete”– Jack Kornfield