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Who are you if you are not doing anything?

If you are not producing or creating something?

We have been led to believe that there is only ONE way for being productive, for being focused, and for getting results. But for women, it usually comes at a great cost.

I bought into this for many years. I poured over all the self help and productivity books, mostly written by white men and from a masculine point of view. 

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about any particular gender, this is about a particular approach, a way of looking at things. This is a very masculine way of looking at productivity, progress, results and success.

This kind of approach is necessary and is what keeps us moving forward, taking action, and seeing the results we want in our life.

But as I have come to realise lately, it’s not the only way. When this approach is not balanced, It can often lead to major imbalances in our lives, costing us our health. Like it happened to me last year.

You can hear more about my story below

You have more time than you believe

One of the biggest challenges that I find many women have when it comes to taking care of their health is a need for more time.

They feel that they are too busy or that there are simply not enough hours to practice self care. In other words, self care feels almost like an indulgence. Except it’s not!

As a woman, you are a natural caregiver and a nurturer.

But for so many of us, we approach being loving and kind and taking care of others from a place of deprivation. And then we wonder why we feel so resentful all the time.

Do you say to yourself?

• I don’t have the time to do what I want to do
• I don’t have any time left from taking care of my children and family
• I can’t take out time for any hobbies or for having fun
• I end up doing everything myself

Then you may be feeling overwhelmed, resentful, and frustrated as well. 

Taking the time to acknowledge what you really need is the first step toward supporting your body.

If you are dealing with any health challenges, this is a very important part of your healing journey. In fact, this is something I teach my clients to focus on right from the beginning of the programme. And of course, one of the key themes in the 3 pillar framework is SELF CARE.

I have shared with you 5 powerful reasons why having a self care practice is key to healing your body

1. A little compassion goes a long way

We could all be a bit kinder, and a bit more forgiving when it comes to our bodies. Yet, we do just the opposite. 

Learning to treat ourselves with love and respect is a necessary part of the healing process.

This is how we keep moving forward even when we mess up.

This is how we keep ourselves motivated when we go off the diet plan, when we forget to exercise or we don’t get enough sleep.

But most people don’t think of self care this way. They think of it as something they need to do.

Sometimes, self care is simply something that you need to be more of

And it has a hugely positive outcome on long term health.

2. Setting healthy boundaries

Setting healthy and robust boundaries is an important aspect of taking care of your health. 

On the contrary, bad boundaries consume a lot of our time and energy. We often get caught up in setting out fires in our personal lives, constantly trying to maintain good relationships without disappointing anyone and trying to get work done.

But not with much success.

You see, having healthy boundaries starts with having a good relationship with yourself. This means that you listen to your own needs first. If you are feeling tired and sleepy, you decline that party invitation so that you can get to bed an hour early.

But it also means taking responsibility for your own decisions and your behaviour. If you decided to start walking 15 min every other day, you keep your word to yourself and actually do that.

This is an integral part of creating healthy habits in the long run that support your self care routine.

3. Living a life without (or minimal) regrets

We believe that we will be happy when….

• We achieve a certain amount of “success”
• We live up to the expectations of our parents, family, society
• We get ahead of others or win the comparison games
• We reach a certain goal

Yet, the top regrets of people who are at the end of their lives tell us just the opposite. The author of the amazing and eye opening book “The top 5 regrets of the dying” by palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware, taking care of terminally ill patients tells us that the top 5 regrets are

1. Wishing they had the courage to live a life true to themselves
2. Wishing they hadn’t worked so hard
3. Wishing they had the courage to express their feelings
4. Wishing they had stayed in touch with their friends
5. Wishing they had let themselves be happier

While in many ways this is an eye opener, when you really think about it, these are the things that really matter.

A healthy self care practice would benefit a lot from this kind of approach so that we are not deluding ourselves about what it means to be truly happy. And then finding ways to cultivate a positive and happy outlook that is necessary to create long term health.

4. You have more time than you think

A healthy self care routine involves having the time to do the things that nourish your body, mind and soul.

Self care means that you take the time to “recharge” and “rejuvenate” on a regular basis. But it doesn’t mean that you can either be “productive and successful” OR “relaxed and happy”. And it has nothing to do with how busy you are.

Anindita

In fact, one of the biggest time snatchers is a mistaken belief that our “busyness” is a matter of pride and honour.

When you make “time” your friend rather than your enemy, you often find that you are the source of time. And how you choose to spend those 168 hours in a week is what makes this possible.

The problem is not that you don’t have the time, it’s that most of us don’t really know how to spend it on things that matter to us or what we do best.

So we spend an insane amount of time surfing the web, scrolling on social media, watching Youtube, bingeing on Netflix and wondering where all the time went.

And then we try and squeeze in all the things that need to get done in the remaining time. As a result we feel exhausted, overwhelmed and perpetually busy.

What if you approached time differently and as a part of your self care practice? 

What if you viewed every minute that you spend on this planet as a choice?

What if you let go, minimised, and delegated everything else?

You would certainly have the time to take care of your body.

How would your life look like then?

5. Manage your energy

I now think of “work life” balance very differently than I did before.

I have realised that at different times in your life, there will be a tilt towards one side or the other. I don’t believe any longer that there is no such thing as a perfect work life balance.

I now focus on getting the right things done and having enough energy to be present for the things that matter to me.

Anindita

With this kind of focus, I am much more aware when I get involved in projects or tasks that can be done by someone else or eliminated altogether.

Once you uncover in which areas of your life you are leaking energy you can take measures to plug them up.

This is really important when you are trying to regain your health and fatigue is a constant companion. Knowing when to rest and recharge and when to carry on is critical. And having a proper self care routine in place helps you to manage your energy and lessen your stress and overwhelm.

As Anne Lamott said, 

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”