If you can't change it, change your attitude
If the last few months have taught me anything, it is that change is an inevitable part of my life. While I always understood this intuitively, this pandemic has brought it to the forefront for me. And I am sure it has been the same for you as well.
All of us face difficult times in our lives. We have to deal with change brought about by our circumstances, many of which are beyond our control. No matter what our circumstances are, the stress created due to change is a big part of our life. We sometimes end up adding to this stress by trying to ignore or resisting this truth or focusing only on those aspects of our life which are beyond our control.
We cannot stop CHANGE
We don’t want to really acknowledge that we cannot stop CHANGE. However, If we want to see different results in our life, then we have to bring about CHANGE one way or the other but we can do this more effectively by becoming intentional about it.
On top of this, if we stay open and curious to an ever changing landscape in our life of new possibilities, hopes and dreams then CHANGE can actually help us build resiliency. By learning to explore what presents itself rather than shutting down, we can ride the waves of change rather than getting carried away by its undercurrents.
Why do we resist change?
It boils down to one thing- FEAR.
Fear of a loss of control
Fear of the unknown
Fear of not being clear on what we need to focus on
Change management experts typically recommend that people be given as much control over change as possible. But there are 2 issues with this solution as I see it.
One is that much of change that happens is outside our sphere of control. Like the market or the industry that you work is changing constantly, your child or a family member falling sick or even a new opportunity that comes your way in terms of your career.
Second, is that we simply do not like change.
And I don’t mean the big changes only. Even a small change like having to change our regular route on the way to work, having to change the time of our salon appointment, having to change the furniture in the house that has been there for years can be stressful.
It can be any type of change that sets us off. There is always so much comfort in the certainty of the known. Even the prospect of something better does not always compensate since our reaction is connected to our emotional state. As you know, our emotional state is not really logical or works only in rational ways.
We resist change to some degree and in some instances, it definitely keeps us safe by priming us and telling us that something is potentially wrong and we should be ready to act. At times this resistance passes quickly, other times it lingers well beyond its usefulness. This resistance alone can prevent you from seeing the results that you want to in your life.
For eg, a fear of change can stop you asking from going in for that promotion, that new opportunity that came up or resisting someone who is trying to help or support you because it means that you will have to change something in your life.
What are you losing out on simply because you are afraid to take that step towards the unknown?
What are you giving up on in your life- your own dreams, hopes and goals?
Think about it.
As an unknown person had said-
A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever GROWS there
In this week's podcast episode, I take you through a guided meditation that will help you use your breath to honour your feelings of discomfort about change and change your relationship with it.
I cover this topic in Module 1 of my membership programme that launches next week on the 28th of September. It's called "Peaceful mind, Healthy body" and you can learn more about it below